Why Self Care After Being Cheated On Helps Keep Us Safe

Have you prioritized self-care for yourself since discovering that you were cheated on?  I wonder how many activities you have done today to bring yourself joy or build you up? If you were prioritizing self-care then you could easily have counted at least three things you deliberately did or have planned for yourself today? So why should I fill my emotional cup, and why should I do it every day, especially after infidelity?  Because as women, it is easy to forget to do things for ourselves or let other people's needs and wants become more important than ours.  Planning self-care after being cheated on helps keep us safe!

We are the only person we truly have control over and we must value and prioritize ourselves in order to heal. It is important that we own our responsibility to care for and keep ourselves full through self-care. This stops us from being a victim or being demanding it from our relationships.  Giving ourselves what we need to feel safe is not just for our benefit but also for the benefit of everyone around us.

Self-care is keeping ourselves full and overflowing

So it is raining here, and after a week of rain, we FINALLY celebrate the end of our drought. The water tanks are full and soon will be overflowing.  This is a beautiful picture of what self-care looks like and how we should all be full and overflowing in our own lives. Keeping our self-love tanks full is especially true while we are healing from infidelity trauma. It is us showing ourselves incredible value and respect while we heal from the pain of being cheated on.

We must keep ourselves full or we will become voids

Unfortunately, if we are not keeping ourselves full with self-care, then we run the risk of becoming a void. Nature hates voids and will always fill them. If we are not filling our tanks with love, care, and good things then our emptiness may get filled with unsafe feelings. Yuck!

How often do you feel resentful after looking after everyone else's needs, especially when no one has helped or supported you back? Or worse, you became resentful and easily angered because you gave so much, and now no one notices or appreciates the sacrifices you made for them. When we are empty, we feel unsafe, wobbly, and out of control.

We are responsible for prioritizing our self-care.

I often felt a deep internal loneliness and wished that someone would come along and fix that for me. I let myself run dry, and then suffered because I didn't keep myself cared for?  Everyone around me suffered too because I was not feeling safe. But mostly I suffered alone, feeling no one was concerned with meeting my needs or even cared about me!

When we feel unhappy and unsafe with our lives, we sometimes blame others for not giving us what we need. We can resent them for not giving us the time we need to do the things we want to do. It is easier to point our finger at others and our circumstances than to make the deliberate effort to discover and put time into what we need.  We long to feel built up and overflowing with love but we have no clue how to make this happen.

We teach others how to treat us!

Perhaps we may need to face a hard truth, that we have taught those around us how to treat us by the way we treated ourselves. If we respect ourselves enough to prioritize our time and effort to do self-care/love, those around us will learn to value us and our time too

Don't wait for the perfect moment to look after yourself. Be deliberate and plan for it to be part of your life now. Somehow the world keeps spinning when we go out and do what we love to do or care for ourselves. Doing things that we enjoy builds resilience and gives us the capacity to sately face our lives, healing our infidelity pain, and cope what is happening around us.

Plan self-care, do self-care, love self-care.

Self-care is not selfish, and it is our responsibility to invest in ourselves. We are worth the effort it takes and we benefit greatly when we do. Moreover, our healing from being cheated on requires it.  After infidelity, self-care is not a benefit or a privilege, it is a necessity. in order for us to feel safe again.

We are responsible for to keep ourselves full of self care.

Sometimes even knowing how to care for ourselves can be overwhelming after infidelity.  If you need support, please join my 18-week coaching course on self-care. This course will lead you through the practical aspects of self-care after infidelity and will provide you with the support you need to cope with the infidelity pain.

Learn ways to help yourself heal from betrayal with self-care and build a life you love to live!  For more information about self-care, please read Self Care After Being Cheated On and  Managing Infidelity Stress.

Please also accept a gift of a free coaching call with me. Get the support and encouragement you need to heal. Recovering from infidelity is a painful journey and self-care really supports us back into a safe place again.  Book it now because it's free!

You are worth the effort it takes to heal and live a life with your vessel filled and overflowing! I love hearing what you think of my posts and also your own personal experiences with self-care. Please leave me a message in the comment box below.

Much love

Yours on the Journey

You may also find these helpful:

My Story of Cheating – How I Became the Betrayed Wife
Infidelity Stress
Navigating Betrayal Shame: Healing With Self-Compassion
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About the Author

I am a certified life coach and relationship facilitator with a passion for supporting women who have been impacted by infidelity. Drawing on my personal experiences and deep insights, I am dedicated to helping my clients heal from the trauma of betrayal and reclaim their lives.

Through one-on-one coaching, I am committed to providing a safe, supportive space for women to process their emotions and move forward after infidelity. You can find me in my vegetable garden or taking long walks in nature with my dog when I'm not working. Read more about  the betrayed wife's personal infidelity story...